• Tue. Apr 13th, 2021

mccoy.ventures

All content has been processed with publicly available content spinners. Not for human consumption.

‘SNL’ takes shots at vaccine rollout

“Saturday Night Live” took shots at the country’s sluggish vaccination rollout, which has been plagued by shortages, site closures and questions over who should be prioritized for inoculation.

The show opened with a spoof of a game show, “So You Think You Can Get the Vaccine,” in which contestants vie for a chance at getting shots.

“Getting the vaccine shouldn’t be a competition, but Americans will only want to get it if it means someone else can’t,” said the host, Dr. Anthony Fauci, played by Kate McKinnon.

The judges are some of America’s most prominent governors.

California Gov. Gavin Newsom was introduced and gave his assessment of the pandemic in California: “Teeth white, bodies tight. Covid, pretty bad.”

New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo (Pete Davidson), who is facing allegations of undercounting Covid-19 deaths at longterm care facilities and sexual harassment, said, “”Nice bodies, some of you. I know, I know — I’m in the friggin’ dog house again.”

Cuomo explained who was prioritized for inoculation in New York: “Tough guys, rich guys, wise guys and Five Guys.”

Michigan Gov. Gretchen Witmer (Cecily Strong), the target last year of an alleged kidnapping plot, said, “It’s an honor to be here with my fellow governors. People yell at them about their policies and they yell at me, ‘Get her!’ But that’s life.”

Sen. Ted Cruz, played by Aidy Bryant, made an appearance, saying, “I’m sorry, my arms are tired because I just flew back from Cancún, Mexico.”

Contestants were a young woman posing as an elder, a nonsmoker posing as a smoker and 85-year-old Seymour Foreman, who described himself as “the world’s proudest grandad.”

“You win,” he’s told. “You get the vaccine.”

“Oh wonderful,” he said, “do I get it here or backstage?”

“You can’t get it here,” Cuomo said. “You gotta make an appointment online.”

Seymour is advised to find a young person who can perform “three straight days to help you click-refresh,” in Cuomo’s words.

He doesn’t have young people in his life, Seymour said. So Witmer told him, “Better luck next time.”

And Cuomo advised, “If you do feel sick, make sure you leave the nursing home and get to a hospital. Wink.”

On news segment “Weekend Update” co-host Colin Jost took a look at the House’s passage of a $1.9 trillion pandemic relief bill, noting that some Republicans call it a liberal wish list.

“I don’t know,” he said. “I think a liberal wish list would be avocado toast with Chrissy Teigen, free college for pets and a hip-hop musical about Anderson Cooper staring Lin-Manuel Miranda.”

He added that Sen. Lindsey Graham, R-South Carolina, was pleased the relief package didn’t include a minimum wage increase to $15 an hour, as initially proposed.

“Over the years Graham, has actually learned to love the taste of fast-food worker spit,” Jost said.

Fellow host Michael Che celebrated the emergence of a new vaccine, from New Jersey-based Johnson & Johnson, that on Saturday achieved emergency use authorization from the U.S. Food and Drug Administration.

“Johnson & Johnson will now pair the vaccine with needles from New Jersey’s No. 1 syringe supplier, the beach,” he said.

Che reported that a study showed Covid-19 reduces life expectancy for Black people.

“In fact,” he said. “coronavirus is so deadly to Black Americans it’s being suspended with pay.”